You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
