At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
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Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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