this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
