every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
