That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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