3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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