did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
