Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Randomize
