my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
