We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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