I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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