I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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