Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
