Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
