i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
