Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
