You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
