Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
