the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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