I think my vagina is haunted
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
