i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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