my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
