I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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