I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
