Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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