he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
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I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
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I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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