Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
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We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
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Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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