literally had 100 drinks last night.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
