corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize