I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
