Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
This house was built for laser tag.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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