I'm lost and stupid without you.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
