Joe is yelling at the trees again.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
