So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
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We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
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I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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