I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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