I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
this boner is exhausting
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
