it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
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All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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