Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
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He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.