She's JV to your varsity
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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