Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
