If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
