i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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