Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize