You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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