if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize