So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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