I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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