I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
