This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
