haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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