do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
