I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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