No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
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Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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