Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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